Your Resolutions: Revised

It's About That Time

Valentine's has passed. President's Day is over. You've got so much debt that the only way to get rid of it is to fake your own death and start a new life in a tropical paradise. 

Not that you've given it much thought or anything...

Other things that have crashed and burned include your New Year's resolutions. You know, those promises you made to yourself about becoming a better person, losing weight, exercising more, spending less and writing that bestseller.


Yes, it's about that time you thank God for a lapsed memory. It's not your fault if you forgot... and you should forget. You made those resolutions long before you knew what 2013 would even bring.

YOU AMBITIOUS BEAST, YOU!

Luckily, you're wiser (and more sober) now than you were December 31st. Now's the time to make a change.

Resolve: Finding Someone

This is the single person's mantra: I'm going to find someone, I'm going to find someone, I'm going to find someone...

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!

Don't just think it. Do it! Get yourself out there. Use a dateline, a chatline, an online, an offline. Your odds increase the more you put yourself out there! Dating is a numbers game and you can't win if you don't play!

Resolve: Get in Shape

Now this one is everyone's goal and then regret. As much as we pray for it, you don't just get in shape. You have to GET in shape. That means you have to put in maximum effort and make it a constant thing.

If it were easy, we'd all be fitness models. Now drop and give me 50!

Resolve: To Be Better

This is a broad one. What makes you better isn't what makes him better and vice-versa. Maybe you want to read more. Maybe you want to learn a new language. Perhaps you want to devote more time or money to charity. Hell, you may just want to make yourself more attractive all around. DO IT. 

Nothing's stopping you. No one else is going to make you. No one else really cares. But you do. So do it already. They'll never be a perfect time to do anything except wish you had done something before.

Stop thinking you can and be thanking you did!