Phone Chat Tip #8 – Be Honest

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On the laundry list of traits that are essential to have in a relationship, honesty usually ranks up there along with a good sense of humor and a kind disposition. Ask anybody, and they will tell you that a foundation of honesty is crucial to any good relationship. This rule can and should be applied from the start, and when you meet someone through phone chat, honesty really is the best policy.

But being honest doesn't exactly come naturally to us. If you think about it, in the normal course of our lives, we engage in some degree of deception throughout each day. Not malicious deception, but little, polite deceptions like the professional façade we maintain at work, and the smile we offer the grocery store clerk even though we're tired and impatient.

We're so conditioned to maintaining all these little deceptions in the name of common courtesy that when it comes to just being honest, most of us are not sure how to do that. It may, in fact, require a conscious effort to take a step back and think, "Am I really being honest right now?" If you ask yourself this question and the answer is "no", try going through these three simple steps to change that answer to a "yes".

1. Know Your Intentions

When you yourself are not clear on what you want, chances are the other person will be confused too. In order to achieve honesty in your interactions, really think about what you want to get out of them first. When you go into a relationship knowing exactly what you are looking for, you are less likely to mislead the other person — even unintentionally. This will help you achieve clarity in your personal life, and your relationships will thank you for that.

2. React Sincerely

Instead of censoring your every comment, let yourself respond naturally, based on how you actually feel. If someone says something that you disagree with, don't just agree and move on to be polite. Try telling them what you think and feel and see what happens. Often, we're afraid to disagree with people we've only just met for fear of ruining the relationship, but not expressing your real opinion at the time can be just as lethal to your relationship further down the road when your true feelings finally come out. Also, people appreciate when you tell them the truth — even if it's different than their own.

3. Match Your Actions & Your Words

Just as important as reacting sincerely is to match your actions to your words. For example, if you choose to say the big "I love you", make sure you act in a way that confirms this as an honest declaration. Sometimes, when you say something sincere, you feel nervous and vulnerable in the aftermath and pull back as a result. Don't! Have a little faith in your partner, and back your words up by continuing to display openness and affection. Otherwise, you risk the other person thinking, "He/She just said that, but doesn't actually mean it."

Go ahead. Try it. Make a conscious effort to be honest on your next phone chat date and see what happens. The possibilities are endless on Livelinks Chatline!

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